I learned to never allow people to make me believe that I'm not good enough.
I remember watching the E! Hollywood True Story on the Spice Girls (later on, Raw Spice) when I was a kid. A particular scene really stuck to me, the one where Chris Herbert was telling them that he thought they were already too self-confident. I still remember Melanie B's and Victoria's facial expressions, looking distraught but also defiant.
The thing is, it is impossible to please everyone. But it is always possible to prove them wrong and change their opinions (not that that should be the end goal or motivation for that matter).
Growing, I've always been very insecure. I didn't like the way my ears stuck out like Mickey Mouse's or an elephants', depending on my haircut. I was embarrassed whenever I had to stand up to recite and speak up in front of my classmates. I was self-conscious about the way my arms swung when I walked, the shoes I wore, my haircut. To put it simply, I took myself too seriously.
Perhaps this was the reason why I was just too, too nice to everyone. I was afraid to step on anyone's toes, to disagree, to offend anyone. Seeing this weakness, my classmates bullied me by never giving me the speaking parts in presentations, making me do all the difficult parts in group works, never giving me the chance to play in sports, and so on.
Enter the Spice Girls. It was 1996, the dawn of Wannabe. They were all over the TV, preaching about Girl Power, about defying the odds, and the part I liked best, about being comfortable in your own skin. They put value in self-confidence and working hard. And so I did just that. I worked very hard, threw all my cares away, and just went for it!
When my teachers asked me questions, I raised my hand and recited. I chose the shoes I wore, no longer depended on what my mom thought looked good. I cut my hair short, even if it made my Dumbo ears look bigger. And somehow, someway, I became good enough in the eyes of people. I earned their respect.
If the Spice Girls listened to Chris Herbert, sulked, and gave up, they probably wouldn't have achieved what they have. What they did was take the bad and used it as fuel to get better. Instead of getting resentful, they looked at brighter side. They worked their asses off. They practiced, practiced, practiced and proved all the naysayers wrong. Perhaps they weren't the best singers, but they used what they had, tested their limits, and focused on their strengths.
And they succeeded. And in some way, so did I.
Thank you Geri, Mel B, Mel C, Victoria, and Emma for teaching me the value of my worth. For teaching me by example that I am good enough, that one negative opinion cannot and will not destroy, that I am not at the mercy of anyone, that I am my own life's captain.
Thank you.
